There Should Not Be An App For That

Passion

We’ve covered some pretty shitty apps before. Apps for poo, apps to propose, apps for dudes to keep track of women’s menstrual cycles. This one probably manages to top even those stinkers. I present the Passion app. The stupidest way to use a smart phone.

Ever wondered if how well you compared to other people during sex, well now you can with Passion. This iPhone application measures how well you perform during sex, and gives you a rating from 0 to 10, 10 being the highest. Then you can go online and see how well you did against the rest of the world.

Or, alternatively, you could ditch the Passion app and try being human. You know, like paying attention to your partner’s cues, talking about how the sex was for both of you or even, shock horror, forgetting the idea of measuring yourself against an arbitrary scale of good/bad sex and focus on enjoying a sex life that meets no KPIs other than having a good time.

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