Apparently Robin Thicke has only managed to foist 54 copies of his creepy new concept album on the Australian public despite a modest price tag, and all both of the favourable reviews on iTunes. Whether these figures are right or not, I still think it is safe to say that I guess we just didn’t want it. So, if Thicke’s publicist is reading this, a) maybe steer clear of Twitter Q and As, b) what rhymes with karma? and c) here are some things you might want to consider getting behind instead:
1. A scarf that looks like boobs
It looks like you’re topless, but you’re not! And you’re warm! Such wit! Much funny! Lollerskates etc. Added bonus of your ‘hilarious’ accessory reminding you just how skeezy the Blurred Lines clip was.
2. Legally acquired copies of the Game of Thrones DVDs
Because you absolutely want to add those bad boys to your collection after legitimately watching them on Showcase all year.
3. The possibility of a stable Australian government in the near future
4. A leash for your cat
Because making your cat hate you makes more sense than dropping $11.99 on ‘Paula’. It still makes sense even if you don’t have a cat.
5. These unusable stamps for a fictitious place
They made two hundred and by the time most people saw them, they were already sold out. Now my mail will never make it to Ankh Morpork and life is terrible.