Psychic from Perth asks:
Trollacle, I too am an expert at giving helpful advice to the lovelorn, the unlucky and the lazy. It has been weeks since I’ve been asked anything. What can I do to to prove to the world I am a source of sage advice?
Hi Psychic. We can’t all be the internet’s most trusted source of advice™ can we? Nevertheless, I feel your pain. There was a time when my inbox wasn’t full or my diary overflowing with appointments.
The first step is to establish your credibility. Stop at nothing to do this. Break into the home of someone you know who has seemed troubled and acquire some intel. Get as much personal correspondence as you can. Ask Attorney-General Nicola Roxon for access to their call logs.
Then, steer your next conversation in that direction and offer alternative ways of expressing the dilemma, but don’t address the problem directly, not yet. Just ask questions.
You simply must wait for an opportunity to have the conversation conveying the advice itself in public, among a large group of friends, preferably friends with strong Twitter followings. You need to give every chance for your legend to spread.
You need to be right A LOT in this business to succeed. If it contradicts your advice, a blissful relationship must be sabotaged. What good is a happy couple when your professional advice-giving reputation is in tatters?
In the online space, don’t ever be one of those poor sad souls who makes up questions to sound sage or amusing. No matter how excruciating only deal with the genuine article.
Hope that helps ‘Psychic’. Did you know I would say that?
